This is my favorite response of yours yet. It’s empowering and reminding the letter sender to enjoy uni but at the same time, telling her that there’s really no correct way of doing it.
I can say I enjoyed uni a lot. That was really a time for friendships, soccer, being in a band, etc. I had relationships here and there but not that serious yet.
For the letter sender:
You mentioned you are not in a relationship yet with that person. I suggest you DTR first so you will know what to expect. LDR is tough and only a few relationships come out stronger. Be open and spend a lot of time for yourself as well in uni.
aw thank you for your perspective and advice!! I totally agree with the call to define the relationship because if you’re going to make a go of things long distance - honest (sometimes brutally and uncomfortably so) communication is the only way it’ll survive. My husband and I learned that the hard way many many times over - but we never stopped talking even when it felt like pulling teeth, we said what we needed to say and I think that foundation has kept us strong in the many years since!
I tried LDR before and it wasn't for me. It didn't work. Only a selected few can sustain it. That's why I'm in awe of you and your husband. As for the letter sender, she must be prepared to push through all the hoops but DTR first.
Totally! It is a struggle, something I don’t think I could go through again. It shaped me in interesting ways, probably not all for the better - and we still have to talk about wounds from that time, my husband and I. Thank you for this note of caution to the sender!
all I will add is, I did long distance across 9500km and a 14 hour flight for 2 years and a decade later we are still with each other. so can it work, yes? can it work at 18 and during uni? now that one I don't have an answer to lol!
College is such a crazy time, truly. Whether you move halfway around the world or stay in the same place, it’s an experience like no other. And as you say, it’ll be challenging no matter what.
Is there any way to know whether you’re making the right decision or not? Not right now. Maybe in 5 years time.
That being said, I don’t believe love can conquer all unfortunately. When you’re 18 and in love for the first time, it might seem so. Once you gain a bit more life experience, you realize love can only do so much.
I wish this person lots of luck and happiness and thank you for sharing your opinion in such a gentle way 🫶🏼
Maybe it's love for yourself, through all that we go through as humans, that conquers all then?
Young love is complicated, and I have one narrow and uncommon experience of it, so I can't pretend to have answers for anyone else on that front -- but I think cultivating and coming back to loving and honoring myself has gotten me through.
What do you think, Karin? I always love your thoughtful comments!
oh gosh no it’s a life long commitment and choice too, even more so than romantic love. I’m actually in the process of writing a guide on becoming one with yourself and the steps as I’ve seen an experienced them in the hopes that it can help others!
This is my favorite response of yours yet. It’s empowering and reminding the letter sender to enjoy uni but at the same time, telling her that there’s really no correct way of doing it.
I can say I enjoyed uni a lot. That was really a time for friendships, soccer, being in a band, etc. I had relationships here and there but not that serious yet.
For the letter sender:
You mentioned you are not in a relationship yet with that person. I suggest you DTR first so you will know what to expect. LDR is tough and only a few relationships come out stronger. Be open and spend a lot of time for yourself as well in uni.
aw thank you for your perspective and advice!! I totally agree with the call to define the relationship because if you’re going to make a go of things long distance - honest (sometimes brutally and uncomfortably so) communication is the only way it’ll survive. My husband and I learned that the hard way many many times over - but we never stopped talking even when it felt like pulling teeth, we said what we needed to say and I think that foundation has kept us strong in the many years since!
I tried LDR before and it wasn't for me. It didn't work. Only a selected few can sustain it. That's why I'm in awe of you and your husband. As for the letter sender, she must be prepared to push through all the hoops but DTR first.
Totally! It is a struggle, something I don’t think I could go through again. It shaped me in interesting ways, probably not all for the better - and we still have to talk about wounds from that time, my husband and I. Thank you for this note of caution to the sender!
You’re welcome! 🤗
all I will add is, I did long distance across 9500km and a 14 hour flight for 2 years and a decade later we are still with each other. so can it work, yes? can it work at 18 and during uni? now that one I don't have an answer to lol!
sooo dependent on so many things and the players involved right?! but as I say, here we are living despite it all ❤️
College is such a crazy time, truly. Whether you move halfway around the world or stay in the same place, it’s an experience like no other. And as you say, it’ll be challenging no matter what.
Is there any way to know whether you’re making the right decision or not? Not right now. Maybe in 5 years time.
That being said, I don’t believe love can conquer all unfortunately. When you’re 18 and in love for the first time, it might seem so. Once you gain a bit more life experience, you realize love can only do so much.
I wish this person lots of luck and happiness and thank you for sharing your opinion in such a gentle way 🫶🏼
Maybe it's love for yourself, through all that we go through as humans, that conquers all then?
Young love is complicated, and I have one narrow and uncommon experience of it, so I can't pretend to have answers for anyone else on that front -- but I think cultivating and coming back to loving and honoring myself has gotten me through.
What do you think, Karin? I always love your thoughtful comments!
I definitely think you’re right about that! Self love can conquer all. I can sure attest to that. But it ain’t easy getting to that point 😅
oh gosh no it’s a life long commitment and choice too, even more so than romantic love. I’m actually in the process of writing a guide on becoming one with yourself and the steps as I’ve seen an experienced them in the hopes that it can help others!
What if I had a valid reason for my distance!?